I was let go from another job.
Twice in two years.
Not a good record.
I wasn't a bad employee.
I never was a trouble maker.
The first one was a massive company downsizing.
A medium size company that manufactures printing equipment.
I never felt like my skills were fully utilized.
Sometimes I felt like they didn't know what they were doing.
Over 40 people were let go that day.
Can't say that was my fault, but apparently I wasn't worth keeping.
This time, I'm not sure what they were thinking.
It was a small, but successful, print shop.
I was the only pre-press professional they had.
I ran that department, a multi-tasking fool.
Pre-press, pre-flight, sample proofing, posters, direct mail, design, imposition, CtP, post-production, you name it.
I did them all, and sometimes, I did them all at once.
I showed up late perhaps a few too many times?
But usually only by a few minutes.
Otherwise I'd call and let them know.
I am not a morning person, that's my downfall.
I wasn't the only one that had that problem, though.
I checked my personal email once in a while.
But not in a way that effected my work.
I occasionally browsed my social network and art profiles.
It is the only way I have to effectively communicate and stay in touch with the community, and family.
I am a web connected individual, it's part of life these days.
But I also used the internet for work related stuff; stock art, fonts, research, templates, etc.
I was told I was the best person they've ever had in that position.
That sounds good, but was it really saying much?
I got praise for my skills and knowledge.
I worked hard helping the production dept when required.
Sometimes their expectations were too high.
The tasks they wanted done were just not manageable in the time they expected.
I did what they told me as well as I could.
Sometimes I exceeded the expectations.
I pushed many jobs through in a timely manner.
The company was doing really well, too.
I like to think I contributed to that success.
Yet, I was underpaid by industry standards.
I was overdue for a raise.
Apparently I wasn't valuable enough.
Was it really a wise choice to do that to someone, in this economy?
How will it effect their business?
I'd trade a few minutes late for someone that was highly effective at their job.
I think I would.
Maybe I have much to learn.
I suppose it's partly my fault.
But they might have ruined my life.
I am at risk of losing my house.
My bills are stacking once again.
I almost had everything payed off and manageable.
I feel devastated.
What will I do?

Quit?
Fail?
Wither?

I refuse.
I chose to move on.

Persevere.
Learn.
Grow.
Improve.

I hope I am strong enough.